How d'you do, I...see you've met my
Faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because
When you knocked !
He thought you were the candy man

Don't get strung out, by the way that I look
Don't judge a book by its cover !
I'm not, much of a man
By the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

"I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha"

Let me show you around, maybe, play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie

Brad:"I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry (right !)
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry"

Well, you got caught with a flat, well, how about that ?
Well, babies, don't you panic !
By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic

"I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha"

Why don't you stay for the night ? (night)
Or maybe a bite ? (bite)
I could show you my favorite... obsession
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my... tension

"I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha
Hey ! Hey !
I'm just a sweet transvestite (sweet transvestite)
From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha"

So, come up to the lab !
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici...pation !
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
Mm...MmMmMmMmMm
But not, the symptom !