- CHARLIE :
I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans

- VAGGIE :
Charlie, hold on

- CHARLIE :
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance

- VAGGIE parle :
It's just a meeting

- CHARLIE :
To change their mind and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have

-VAGGIE parle :
This could be bad

- CHARLIE :
Cheer up, Vaggie
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell

- VAGGIE parle :
Okay, but just don't... sing to them

- ANGEL DUST parle :
That bitch is halfway down the street

- VAGGIE parle :
Is she—

- ANGEL DUST parle :
Oh, she's dancin'

- VAGGIE parle :
Ugh, no

- CHARLIE :
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it bеats anywhere
If you don't mind the smеll
It's a happy day in Hell

- CHARLIE, parle :
Hi, mister

- DEMON parle :
Go fuck yourself

- SINNER :
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul

- CHARLIE parle
Hello!

- IMP
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole

-CHARLIE parle :
Ah, 'scuse me

- EXECUTIONER :
Doing what is required, we all have our role

- SINNER :
I'm not doin' well

- DEMONS :
Another shitty day in Hell

- CHARLIE :
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change

- VAGGIE :
Those angels' minds are hard to change

- CHARLIE :
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange

- VAGGIE :
They're bloodthirsty and deranged

- CHARLIE :
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell

- CHARLIE :
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why?
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide

- CHARLIE, DEMONS, IMP parlent :
I can do this, I just know it
(There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans (Ah-ah)
There's just no way I could blow it
(I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole; Perv)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance (Ahh)
To change their minds—

- TRENCH COAT DEMON parle :
And touch my parts

- CHARLIE parle :
Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna

- CHARLIE, DEMONS :
Fulfill my destiny (Ah-ah)

-TRENCH COAT DEMON parle :
Your loss, bitch

- CHARLIE :
I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell